She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
