Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
