Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
