So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
