I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
