I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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