If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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