i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
