I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
