i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
