she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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