so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
