So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
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I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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