Well douche your snatch and let's go!
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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