thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
