what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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