and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
