If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
