i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
birth control should be required to get into college
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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