i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
