I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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