I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Everything about him screamed your future.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
did i just pee glitter
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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