two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So vagazzling was a success
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
