I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
