Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
