worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Randomize
