I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
