ya dads aren't the best wingmen
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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