best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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