My nipple is on Facebook.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
