What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
