make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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