Do vagina's smell?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize