using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
