Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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