Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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