You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
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Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
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Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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