Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize