Christians are straight up FREAKS
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
