sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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