super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
