I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
