I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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