I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
