I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
