his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
