Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
