i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
