CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
