She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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