I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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