sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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