And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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