My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
