Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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