Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
