ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
