I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
