Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
