What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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